A PERFECTLY, IMPERFECT NEW YEAR PHOTO CHALLENGE

This is the time of year when the beautiful family photos are on display. They show up in mailboxes, on refrigerators, framed in metal and wood, and you can scroll through the Rolodex of family perfection on Facebook any time, day or night.

Smiling, domestic, loveliness sitting on the lawn. Gorgeous families with obedient 2.5 and a shiny white picket. Sometimes, parents steal a kiss, or children embrace it. Oftentimes, you’ll find a splendid " I I’ve-never-pooped-in-the-house prize-winning canine in the photo. Have you ever noticed nobody puts his or her cat or gerbil in a photo?

Anyway…the other photo option is the aren’t-we-silly photo. It’s the duck face, big-eyed, dramatized, on purpose, goofy photo. This is the “act like you’re fun and like each other, but go all the way to stupid” picture.

Ok, I’m not a complete killjoy. I understand both types of photos; I’m just tired of them. I call them “End of the Spectrum” photos.

The “perfect family photo” is on one end of the spectrum, and the “we’re ridiculous” is on the other.  Both create a sense of invulnerability. Emotions can be avoided in both of these places. Vulnerability is not needed for either.

Vulnerability is required in the middle of the photography spectrum. It’s the photo you can’t believe the photographer included in your set to choose from. It’s the photo of you blowing your nose into the beautiful wedding napkin that you find yourself tagged in. It’s the one where you can’t figure out what’s wrong with it, but you just look really weird. It’s the photo where he’s…well, maybe that one should be deleted.

You get the idea. We don’t proudly display these pictures. We don’t create cards out of these. I sure don’t. I’d rather take three selfies with a friend and pick the one where you don’t get the chance to count all my chins. I’d rather pick the one where I can lipo-crop the heck out of my toosh at the edge of the pic. I’d prefer you see the one where my hair doesn’t think it’s still 1986.

So, I’d like to ask you a favor: after you’ve posted your holiday perfection pics, post your EVERYDAY photo here. Post the just woke up photo. No picking the best one; just grab that phone that’s already in your hand and shoot.

I’m an obnoxious sleeper. I flail and kick in my sleep and wake up looking like I have just been resurrected after three days in the tomb. I know people who wake up looking rested and peaceful; that ain’t me. I want to see your just woke up photo.

Before the makeup, before the eyes have de-puffed, let’s see the real morning you. Let’s see the sheet-print chins, drool stained cheeks, and the bird nest hair.

Here’s to your authentic, beautiful, vulnerable self!